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| bullet points for the moment
- in Tulsa tonight - weird
- spent time with old roommates - fun
- sleeping on an inflatable mattress at old roommates parent's house - surprisingly restful
Its always strange for me to be in Tulsa. I feel like my life was forged here. Not developed, not bloomed, but forged in fiery ways. I was forced to decide what I wanted my life to be like and start making the decisions to get me there. Really, looking back, I had so much grace. God has a way of getting me where he needs me to be in spite of my best efforts.
Being here brings my former life and my current life into sharp contrast and I realize how much I've really changed. I'm so thankful for my wonderful husband and son. Being older is strange - but being more mature I really do enjoy. I don't loose my car keys as much any more. I don't say quite as many things I regret as soon as they've crossed my lips. I just feel peaceful now, and that is not something I ever really experienced when I lived in Tulsa.
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| This was from Kendra ...
> 1.Who was your first prom date? actual prom? John Hotchkiss – his prom – I was in college – he was in high school
> 2. Who was your first roommate(s)? Katy Olin in College
> 3. What was your first alcoholic drink? cant remember right now Nyquil?
>
> 4. What was your first job? (legitimate) Shipping Dept at MHM
> 5. What was your first car? giant grey Ninety Eight Oldsmobile
> 6. Who did you text first? Does it count if it was on a pager? Probably Jonathan
> 7. Who is the first person you thought of this morning? Jordan – always Jordan
> 8. Who was your first grade teacher? something with a K
> 9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? California when I was a baby – I think it was probably my grandpa’s plane
> 10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with? I think by myself – probably to meet up with a boyfriend
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> 11. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them? Becky – no, but I saw her recently – she lives near me.
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> 12. Where was your first sleep over? I just remember people coming over mostly – for crafty birthday parties
> 13. Who was the first person you talked to this morning? Jonathan wanting to know if he should feed the baby. “yes”
> 14. Whose wedding were you in the first time? I think it was Joy’s
> 15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? feed Jordan
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> 18. First foreign country you went to?
> Hong Kong
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> 19. First crush? Kenny Bade second grade – he proposed to me one day – and Kendra the next – what a player!
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> 20. When was your first detention? who knows – my backpack bled pink slips that I was always forgetting to get signed – then I’d get another one.
> 21. What was the first state you lived in? Colorado
>
23. Who will be the first to re-post this?
not me – I must be in a weird mood – I never do these – ever.
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| Every now and again I have to break through the paralyzing effects of perfectionism. Some of us don't consider ourselves perfectionists because those are the people we think of as having it all together. It's possible to be stuck in place, fearing failure and not wanting to bother because you can't meet your own expectations.
So today I'm breaking through. I'm going to post an entry here, clean my house, exercise - imperfectly and incompletely if necessary and still give myself credit for it at the end of the day. By the way - Happy Valentines Day everybody! We will be at home working tonight and romancing by the light of the monitor screen. Not exactly ideal, but its all part of our overall happiness scheme. Someday it will really pay off.
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| Friday I went to a parade. I wasn't intending to go to a parade, but when I stepped out onto my front porch to run an errand I heard a marching band. The mailman was nice enough to tell me the Windsor homecoming parade was happening right up the street in our neighborhood. We have a beautiful center street in our neighborhood called Grand Avenue. All along the grassy center section of grand avenue under the brilliant fall trees were parents on lawn chairs and children with their dogs all anxiously awaiting the appearance of the stars of Windsor - right on our street. Soon enough the floats came by. The football team sitting on bales of hay on the back of a big trailer with football goal made of PVC pipe on each end. The cheerleaders riding the Town of Windsor fire truck. The band in full uniform. I wish I would have had may camera because no one would believe me when I told them how small -town fabulous this was. The Juniors and seniors shouting back and forth - "We've got spirit, yes we do..."
I know tomorrow the Windsor Now newspaper will document every play of the big game and the headline will read something like "Wizards Hang Tough, Fade in Second Half"
In this town people still talk to each other, bring you brownies when
you have a new baby, ride their bicycles to the grocery store. I have a
porch swing where I sit after my walks through the neighborhood and
wave at all the people who are still out for an evening stroll. My milk is delivered in glass bottles - really.
If someone would have told me this kind of life still existed I wouldn't have believed them. You probably don't believe me either. So come over and visit. I'll be sitting on my porch with the baby. We'll have a chat over a big glass of milk and some homemade cookies. Ok, so you might have to bring the cookies.
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| Time is absolutely flying by. These months have brought a lot of growing up experiences. On June 23 we moved into our first real home, a beautiful little 2-story house in a perfect neighborhood and a perfect little town. On June 24th I became a mom of a perfect little 7 pound 9 ounce baby boy. To relieve you all of the perfection-induced nausea you certainly must be experiencing, I have to admit that this has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. If it was possible to quit I would have done it by now. But when I see his little smile it wipes away the frustration of all those long nights. He is perfect and I am thankful; so grateful for all of Gods blessings in our lives. Our house is lovely and better than what I imagined we’d be able to find. Still, it was strange coming home to a place that has never been our home, and bringing a brand new baby. I told Jonathan it felt like we were babysitting at someone else’s house and they were taking an awfully long time to come home.
I’m just now starting to feel the new normal setting in, and so, I hope to make more time to write and tell you all about our new lives.
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